


Hello Master Apple

by cloudeater (anxiousgoat), gigglefit (NoctuaLusa), tschulie



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:47:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxiousgoat/pseuds/cloudeater, https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoctuaLusa/pseuds/gigglefit, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tschulie/pseuds/tschulie
Summary: Draco's apple makes an offer he can't refuse.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1
Collections: Fanatical Fam's Crackfic Chaos





	Hello Master Apple

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Crackfic written by the Fanatical Fam over on the discord for the Fanatical Fics and Where To Find Them podcast!  
> These fics have been created using our favourite bot - Chocolate Frogs - during a game we like to call Crackfic Chaos.

Draco looked at the object laying on the table next to his bed, his eyes filled with love. His apple. So precious! The curves, the red cheeks, the beautiful smile... It was perfect! He had found it in the Room of Requirement and brought it back to the Slytherin common room. 

Soon enough, he realized that he needed to hide it better from prying eyes. So, the beautiful apple, rested on his bedside table now. He wondered how long it would be until he could no longer resist the apple's red, shining, wiles. He picked it up again, stroking the perfect, cool, skin. It came as quite a shock when a voice emerged from the apple. 

"Behold! I am the Master of Death! Bow before me, puny mortal!" Draco dropped the cursed apple. Speaking fruits were not what he signed up for! 

"Mwahahahaha!" laughed the apple. "But seriously though, Death and I have been needing an assistant for ages. What do you think? The play's really good and the holidays are to die for."

Draco considered it. The play did not sound too bad but he would need to know more. 

"What's the play about? Can I have the main role? Who's doing costumes? Can I do my own makeup?" The questions didn't stop coming for several minutes. His counterpart sighed. This was typical. Never discuss anything with this little shithead, honestly. 

"But yes, you can do your own make-up, I guess." 

"Yay!" He screamed, pulling out his old crusty pallette of Halloween makeup that was at least 10 years old. He would be part of a play and he could do his own makeup. He was sure he could get the main role! His parents would be so proud.

He made himself up spectacularly and walked onto the stage. There he found only the apple. what was happening? 

"You have passed the test!" it cried, and Draco found himself being handed a scythe. He shrugged. You couldn't change fate.


End file.
